It’s not just this, it’s that

There is something just that bit off about writing produced by AI, and one of the obvious giveaways of synthetic text is a particular turn of phrase.

In the dystopian future depicted in Blade Runner, the only way of truly identifying synthetic humans – the kind that are cooked up in a lab – is via psychological testing administered by an expert such as the titular bounty hunter, Deckard (who may himself be a replicant, but that’s another story). Replicants, who are all somewhat NQR, cannot fudge or finesse the test.

It might just take a jeweller to pick the cubic zirconium from the real thing. Ersatz stones lack the integrity of the genuine article, regardless of how much they shine. Yet for the untrained eye it’s hard to tell the real from the fake. Knock-off designer handbags, however, usually shout their counterfeit status from a distance. And crocodile tears from toddlers can easily be intuited by parents practised in detecting crying on demand.

Synthetic writing also has its tells, and I am not the first to name them: a samey, homogenous hyperbolic tone, overuse of emojis, listing items in threes, employing the Oxford comma, favouring “whilst”* rather than “while” and use of the em dash (rather than the aesthetically superior en dash).**

Another telltale sign that AI has been used to generate or sharpen prose is use of reflexive phrases structured along the lines of “it’s not just this, it’s that”.

“More than fabric, denim is a living material—a companion that skates, refines and adapts over time.”

“This isn’t just an Olympic race, it’s a whole masterclass in life … Sometimes the smartest move isn’t chasing the crowd, it’s trusting your own pace.”

“GoPro wasn’t just a camera company, it was a movement.”

“That upbringing didn’t just influence his shooting form—it shaped the way he saw the entire game.”

“Negotiation isn’t about being difficult. It’s about showing up prepared and knowing your value.”

“This is more than a watch—it’s a piece of horological history you can wear with confidence, wherever your journey takes you.”

“The CS311 isn’t nostalgia dressed up—it’s evolution done right.”

“Sports doesn’t just shape performance, it can slow down aging.”

“At Earthen Co, we believe time is not just measured—it is experienced.”

“Literacy isn’t just about reading words on a page, it’s about reading deeply.”

“I’ve been using the em dash since 2008, when I was an undergrad writing literary analyses and falling in love with the art of language. It’s not an algorithmic quirk—it’s a stylistic choice … And while we’re at it—let’s remember that AI isn’t the enemy. It’s a tool. It can enhance creativity, not erase it.”

“Stepping away mid-week feels like pressing pause on all the noise … it’s not just about the work or the grind, it’s about creating moments that shape the bigger picture.”

“Great educators do more than deliver lectures. They spark curiosity, champion creative risk taking, and shape futures.”

“In engineering, your signature is not just a date on a drawing. It’s a guarantee. A guarantee that you value integrity over speed …”

“Events like these remind us that innovation isn’t just about technology, it’s about people, collaboration and purpose.”

“In reviving Thomas Mason, Albini hasn’t just preserved history – they’ve created a living testament to textile excellence.”

“This isn’t just a form-filling exercise—this is how we know if TGBC is doing what we set out to do. It’s how we measure the collective outcome of our impact— yours, mine, the whole chapter’s … This isn’t a feedback form. You’re reflecting on the club—on us— and what we’ve built together. Every response counts, and we need everyone on board.”

“A bad game, a missed promotion, or a poorly written article isn’t just a failure of performance—it’s a failure of self.”

It could be that not all of these examples have been generated by AI, but that they simply look, sound and feel like it, akin to someone who has real hair that resembles a toupee. Perhaps it’s a case of a style of writing and a method of expression that has become popular right now. It has entered the idiom, in the same manner that “leaning into” something has become de rigueur to say. Our language is dynamic, after all. Words come and go, or the meaning subtly changes over time.

I have no truck with the way in which “verses” is used as a verb – i.e., “My team is versing yours in today’s game” – but I suspect that this expression will likely have some resonance due to its common use among younger generations.

So yes, it’s possible Claude AI or ChatGPT didn’t spit out all of the phrases above, but I suspect they probably did. Synthetic writing has a particular sheen and rhythm to its manufactured cadences. It’s almost as if the words have been bent to fit a template. I can’t think of a reason, for instance, why a survey of a men’s book club couldn’t “just” be a survey. I mean, what else is it realistically going to be? There is no overarching authority the text can apply to so that it might alter its status. It’s just a fu*cking survey.

Which underscores another problem I have with this way of expressing things. Why can’t a watch simply be a watch? By implying that a watch need be anything more than a wrist instrument for telling the time (rather than, say, a piece of history or a horological artefact) is egregious. For something simply to be itself and nothing beyond that doesn’t diminish its status.

You know, I believe literacy is simply about reading words on a page, and the em dash is more than likely an algorithmic quirk, especially the way it is used by AI. Denim is just a fabric, and that’s OK. That’s what it was designed to be. Your jeans aren’t going to be offended because you referred to them as a pair of daks rather than a “living material”. And I reckon Go Pro was simply a camera company. What else could it be for crying out loud?

I can understand the temptation to use AI for everyday writing tasks. It’s just so easy, after all. Put in a few prompts and reams of copy come tumbling out, like tickertape in a 1940s noir. Writing that might hitherto have been jumbled or confused can now have a two-pack-like surface applied to it and buffed. That text, however, is not yours; it doesn’t sound like you (unless you’re a B-grade copywriter), and it doesn’t really express what you were trying to say. How can it? If you use Co-Pilot to smooth over your emails or to provide them with an authorial voice not your own, there’s a very real risk that your message will be misconstrued. Your voice belongs to you, and is not something that you should yield to a third party, let alone a lower power.

AI is powerful, no doubt. It can save an astonishing amount of time analysing data. It can help improve your golf swing or convert a mountain of stats into a spreadsheet. It can write code, synthesise information into reports, or spit out that correspondence you’ve been sitting on all day, and sound as ornery as you genuinely are.

So where to from here? We’re already living in an era described by The Atlantic Journal scribe Charlie Warzel as “the golden age of AI slop***”. So, perhaps consider not contributing to the muck, not putting your own version of “it’s not just this, it’s that” out into the ether.

AI scrapes the internet to stay current. But what if the vast majority of the examples from which it is learning are AI-generated? A hall of mirrors eventuates, where the copy LLMs generate is a tapestry of what has already come before. Surely we are above that. Is it really so hard to turn what you are thinking into words on a page?

I could write that using AI for creative purposes isn’t just a sloppy way of working, it’s a betrayal of our higher selves. Yet I won’t express my thoughts quite like that, because – well, you know why.

*Acerbic writer Martin Amis wrote, “Never use ‘whilst.’ Anyone who uses ‘whilst’ is subliterate.”

**I’ve never liked the em dash. Never had much truck with it. The em dash – so-called because it shares dimensions with the base of the alphabet’s 13th letter – always strikes me as over-specced for the task at hand. It’s just a bit much. That said, I understand not every instance of its use indicates the dark handiwork of AI. Although it has greatly diminished in use in Australia over the past 30 years (the time I have spent as a professional writer, editor and sub-editor) it has never gone out of fashion in the US. It is part of the house style for Air Mail, the New York Times and The Atlantic Journal among other venerable publications. James Joyce and Emily Dickinson were said to be fans of the punctuation device, making it part of their respective style. Jon Hamm and Sofia Coppola have come to its defence. Yet I hadn’t seen an em dash used in corporate correspondence for years until a recent stint working for an organisation where the use of AI as a productivity tool was strongly encouraged, if not mandated. Now the em dash is downright ubiquitous, used by individuals who wouldn’t know an em dash from an en dash, hyphen or interrobang. I blame Claude AI, Chat GPT and those who feel compelled to use them.

***”Slop” is the Merriam-Webster Dictionary 2025 Word of the Year. The lexicon defines “slop” as “digital content of low quality that is produced usually in quantity by means of artificial intelligence.”

The best books of the 21st century so far

If you’ve been counting – and even if you haven’t – the 21st century has ticked over 25 years. In fact, if we’re marking the year 2000 as the first year of the new century and millennium, as per convention, this milestone was passed at the end of last year. Some literary-inclined publications have used the occasion to publish “best of” lists for the past quarter century. The books below represent my attempt at organising and ranking my favourite reads – fiction and non-fiction – published since 2000. It is not a list compiled after considerable rumination, late-night teeth gnashing or references to past notes. Rather, the first place I consulted was my bookshelf: which books published in recent times have been revisited – and enjoyed on re-read? Which had me admiring the craft on display, the storytelling? Which brought me pleasure? These were the criteria.

Empires of the Plains, by Lesley Adkins
Providing insight into the origins of written language, Empires of the Plains is an extraordinary true story, excellently told, of a real-life Indiana Jones, one Henry Rawlinson, who used an amazing facility for ancient languages and a taste for adventure to make enormous strides during the 19th century in the understanding of cuneiform, a type of written language that predates hieroglyphics. The “plains” of the title are those that exist between the Tigris and Euphrates, the site of many cultures that rose and fell over the past 10,000 years. Rawlinson’s efforts were focused on a monument carved into rock vertiginously high on a cliffside at Behistun in western Iran. There, Darius the Great ordered a tribute to his conquests, carved in three ancient languages: Old Persian, Elamite and Babylonian. With grit, nous, bravery and determination, Rawlinson led a charge to decipher the text and shed light on a chapter of history little was known about. This is an edifying yet rollicking read.

Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantell
What an incredibly evocative wordsmith Hilary Mantel was. A two-time winner of the Booker Prize for Wolf Hall and Bring Up the Bodies, Mantel was perhaps unfairly denied a third bauble for the final book in the trilogy, The Mirror & the Light. Wolf Hall tells the story of the murderous Henry VIII, but with Henry’s major domo, Thomas Cromwell, front and centre. In the past Cromwell has typically been depicted as a villain, but here he is a family man, working behind the scenes to minimise the damage from Henry’s impulses, and to (of course) maximise the profit.

The Year of Reading Dangerously, by Andy Miller
After graduating with a degree in literature from prestigious Cambridge University, aspiring writer Andy Miller finds his professional life on a limited, predictable trajectory of customer service in a high street bookstore, literary ambitions on permanent hold as a grinding daily commute exacts its toll. Deciding that something must be done, Miller sets out to reignite his love of words and books, by dedicating his quotidian train time to consuming the great tomes of the Western Canon that he claims at parties to have read, but never actually got around to. There hasn’t been a book this exciting about one man’s reading adventure since Peter Robb’s Midnight in Sicily.

The Havana Room, by Colin Harrison
The plots and characters (apart from the city of New York) vary from tome to Harrison tome, but often it’s a case of rearranging the ingredients: a generous helping of shady/dislikeable characters trying to cut corners and get what’s theirs, a past that can’t be outrun, a soupcon of sex, a dollop of power, a central character dealing with challenges beyond his control – all told in Harrison’s high style and hung around a propulsive plot. After losing his high-paying job, luxury house and then his family, untethered Bill Wyeth finds himself drawn daily to a chi chi Manhattan steakhouse whose denizens seek a taste of forbidden pleasure in the exclusive eponymous space. But just what exactly is going on in the Havana Room?

Cultural Amnesia: Notes in the Margin of My Time, by Clive James
Polymath, writer, critic, aphorist, cad, genial TV talk show host, fierce intellectual – Mr Clive James must surely be one of the sharpest minds to have emerged from the colonies. This is a book that James spent a professional lifetime preparing to write. It’s an A–Z of cultural, scientific and political figures prominent, as the subtitle suggests, in the margins of James’ version of the 20th century. He was keeping detailed notes. Some of these individuals are prominent, iconic even. Titans. Others would doubtless have been consigned to more obscure compendiums had they not been included here, or perhaps forgotten altogether. There are chapters dedicated to such towering souls as Albert Einstein, but others to names such as Zinka Milanov, an opera singer who was once said to have uttered, “Either you got the voice, or you don’t got the voice: and I got the voice”. A chapter might start as an exploration of a historical figure, but veer off in a different direction, settle certain points, reference a bunch of names or works with which I might only have been vaguely familiar, and then return to the original narrative strand and conclude in James’ satisfyingly heady style.

Strange Bodies, by Marcel Theroux
You might recognise the surname of writer Marcel Theroux, the eldest son of renowned scribe Paul Theroux (Mosquito Coast), brother of documentary maker and podcaster Louis, and cousin of Hollywood actor and scriptwriter Justin (who has Tropic Thunder among his scriptwriting credits). Marcel’s oeuvre is the unsettling, clever and compelling literary novel. Yes, that is a thing. And perhaps it’s the best way of describing Strange Bodies, which is as unnerving as it is moving. The novel opens with a knock on a woman’s door by an odd-looking stranger claiming to be academic Nicholas Slopen, one of her old beaus, despite bearing no physical resemblance to him. A carefully concealed memory stick left behind turns out to be the story we have in our hands – and what a page-turner it is!

Heresy: Jesus Christ and the Other Sons of God, by Catherine Nixey
As the progeny of a former nun and former monk, writer Catherine Nixey has some bona fides for writing about religion. In this, her second book, Nixey does a deep dive into the many alternative versions of Christianity that proliferated in the centuries following Jesus’ life and death. The Ophites, for example, believed that Christ had appeared on Earth in the form of a serpent. They therefore celebrated mass by encouraging a snake to crawl over the altar on which loaves had been placed, consecrating them in the process. Another sect dating from the first century AD believed that King Herod rather than Jesus was the Messiah for whom they had been waiting. There are, in fact, plenty of conflicting tales about Jesus to be found, and apparently more than one charismatic bearded young man performing miracles and collecting acolytes while roaming around the Middle East in the first century. Certainly, more than enough for Nixey to start asking questions and looking through files, synthesising the findings into this fascinating read.

Station Eleven, by Emily St. John Mandel
How prescient and well timed was this take from Canadian scribe Emily St. John Mandel, which depicts a near future in which a potent virus wipes out vast swathes of humanity. In such challenging circumstances would we rise to the occasion by forming into cooperative communities to feed, clothe and defend ourselves, or would we descend, a la Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, to our base instincts?

Soon, by Andrew Santella
In my small library there are some fantastic non-fiction and reference books published in the past 25 years that have become cherished resources or often-returned-to reads. The Field Guide to Typography by Peter Dawson is one I love flicking through even though I can’t help but think focusing on getting to know a handful of typefaces would probably serve me better that being exposed to them all. I was impressed by Impossible City: Paris in the Twenty-First Century by Simon Kuper. It is as informative as it is engaging. Another Gallic tome, The French Art of Not Trying Too Hard by Ollivier Pourriol, provided some nuggets (or petit four, perhaps) of wisdom. Morning by Allan Jenkins made we want to (one day) start setting my alarm earlier. But a book that spoke to me and my life-long proclivity for scheduling a better (i.e., later) time for tasks was Soon, an exploration of procrastination throughout history. Beautifully written by Andrew Santella, the book sets out to find out why the will to delay has been the signal habit of such luminaries as Leonardo Da Vinci, Charles Darwin and Frank Lloyd Wright, and what, if anything, can be done to overcome it.

A Gentleman in Moscow, by Amor Towles
There is one remaining slot on the list of 10, which has allocated five each of fiction and non-fiction (my self-imposed rules for this compilation). It could easily have been taken by The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon, or The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. I also inhaled Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner and was thoroughly entranced by The Empusium by Olga Tokorczuk. The House of Silk by Anthony Horowitz was a most excellent addition to the Sherlock Holmes canon. The Wizard of the Kremlin by Giuliano Da Empoli, inspired by Vladimir Putin’s major domo Vladisav Surkov, was consumed in a few short sessions. Yet at a time when inspiration rather than darkness and grimness was called for, A Gentleman in Moscow answered this call. The novel tells the story of the charming and stoic Russian aristocrat Count Alexander Ilyich Rostov, who is deigned by the Bolshivik authorities to live out his days in Moscow’s Metropol Hotel, where he remains under house arrest for 30 years. Rather than succumbing to self-pity, he finds pleasure in reading and food – it is a luxury hotel in which he is ensconced, after all – and in cultivating friendships with staff and guests. His life becomes one of service. A former financier, Mr Towles has an authoritative but engaging writing style, and has our main character share many useful aphorisms, such as “Imagining what might happen if one’s circumstances were different was the only sure route to madness.” Perhaps it is time to read A Gentleman in Moscow again.



Foreword ho

A good foreword – the pages at the front of a book, not the goal-scoring type (forward) – can tell you much about the story you are about to navigate, and enrich the reading experience, providing nuance and context. Or it may just make you think twice about continuing on with the tome in your hands.

There are two kinds of readers in the world. Those who read a book’s foreword (should it be available) and those who always eschew it. For the purposes of simplification, I’m referring to all varieties of the additional explanatory pages at the front of a book (fiction or non-) as a foreword, regardless of whether it is named an “introduction”, “preface”, “author’s note” or something else.

I’m in the former category, by the way: I always read a foreword when it’s available, or search out the afterword. Although my university study occurred at a time when theories such as semiotics and poststructuralism rose to prominence – when the author was declared “dead” – I enjoy finding out about the tidbits, factoids and contextualising information a foreword can provide.

Some forewords are excellent pieces of writing, independent of the book in which they appear. And this would seem to be even more the case when it is penned by a writer other than the book’s author – someone who was influenced by the book in question and whose experience with it was personal. Donna Tartt penned a fantastic foreword to True Grit, a small but powerful novella that impacted three generations of women in her family.

Indeed, there are forewords so well written that I sometimes wish I could simply keep reading it, were there more to take in. Forewords being what they are, however, they play a lower-priority role in the life of a book. And part of their beauty lies in their self-containment.

Even so, I’ve long wondered what it would be like to encounter a book made up entirely of these introductory, informative and complementary pieces of writing. In my mind Full Foreword (or maybe Foreword Ho is a better title – still thinking about that) might be a Borges-like reading experience, or perhaps something reminiscent of Italo Calvino’s postmodern exploration, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller, a novel that can only allude to conclusions it will never reach, composed as it is of pieces of other books.

If the complicated rights and IP issues could be sorted for Full Foreword, I’m thinking you’d have to include the foreword to Lee Child’s Safe Enough, penned by the author himself. Safe Enough is a collection of Child’s short stories not featuring the literary creation with which the English expatriate is most closely associated: Jack Reacher.

Some of the stories are very tidily written and propulsive, others are entertaining, while some are simply competent. All are enjoyable. It’s at this point I should say I have not been a loyal reader of Reacher novels. So, what then attracted me to this book? Well, even if you’re not a Reacher aficionado, you must acknowledge that Lee Child has an extraordinary gift for storytelling. I’ve read one or two of the Reacher yarns and found them OK. Yet it was a Child short story published in Esquire a few years ago under erstwhile editor David Granger’s watch that made me look a little closer.

The foreword to Safe Enough contains some extraordinary facts. After teaching himself to read aged three and graduating to books without pictures a year later, Child’s love of books and reading led to him, he says, consuming about 10,000 long-form narrative works.

Much later, after it appeared his television producing career was drawing to a close, Child (whose real name is Andrew Grant) thought he had a reasonable chance of making it as a novelist. He had carefully crafted the first Reacher title and was halfway through the next when an opportunity was presented to write a short story.

In Child’s mind, the best short stories are like Fabergé eggs: “Small, intricate, perfectly formed items”. Lee’s short stories are more akin to very short novels, each with a beginning, middle and end. He delighted in punching out stories without having to plan carefully, or “parcel stuff out” – that is, “save” key plot points for the back end of a novel.

Child’s facility for getting down to business is admirable. The short stories in Safe Enough were written with abandon, usually in one sitting, and often in one take. This is not someone wrestling with confrontation of the blank page, and more power to him.

“Like I said,” Child writes, “It was fun.”

I never actually got around to reading Death in Venice by Thomas Mann, but I did read the foreword to a new translation by Michael Henry Hein, written by Hein himself, a highly esteemed translator capable of translating works in eight languages.

“All novels are translations, even in their original languages,” he writes, meaning that authors translate the raw material of ideas and inspiration and turn it into language.

There are some other pearls of wisdom in this edifying foreword.

“In its earliest form a novel is a cloud that hangs over a writer’s head.”

“A novel is an expression of unreasonable hopes.”

“We are creatures whose innate knowledge exceeds that which can be articulated.”

“Life is bigger than literature.”

Death in Venice is a novella of some 160 pages, so does not require a huge investment of time. It deals with an older chap, Gustav von Aschenbach, who takes a holiday to Venice to revive his enthusiasm for life. It ends with Gustav, cheeks rouged, face down in the sand, having not encountered the youth with whom he had become obsessed.

You could say that Hein’s foreword has done its job all too well, and after reading it, I no longer felt compelled to explore the novella it introduced.

It was in the foreword to A Tale of Two Cities that I read about Charles Dickens’ advice to fellow scribe Wilkie Collins. Boz advised Wilkie to make his audience “laugh, cry and wait”, which is about as good a description of the prolific Dickens’ modus operandi as one could hope for. Laugh? Who could suppress a titter after reading some of the dialogue of Oliver Twist’s Mr Gradgrind? I challenge you. Anyone who could read about the plight of Abel Magwich or Pip in Great Expectations and not become lachrymose must surely have a heart of stone. And “wait” … well, since Mr Dickens penned his novels in instalments, waiting was something to which his readers became most accustomed.

In the introduction to a new translation by Will Hobson of The Three Musketeers by French maestro Alexandre Dumas, you find out some things that help explain how Dumas was able to be so astonishingly prolific. And, mon Dieu, was he prolific. A month after serialisation of the 690-page The Three Musketeers wrapped up the tale (following six months of newspaper instalments), in August 1844 The Count of Monte Christo, also a doorstopper, began publication in a rival newspaper.

The sequel to The Three Musketeers, Twenty Years After, was released the following year. The third – and longest – of the D’Artagnan romances, The Viscount of Bragelonne, was released two years later.

In the same period Monsieur Dumas cranked out seven plays and 15 other novels!

“No wonder Dumas, who had always worked on several things at once but, even by his standards, was now in a golden period, was called the ‘inextinguishable volcano’ by a contemporary critic,” writes Hobson in the introduction to the new Vantage edition of the book.

How did Dumas do it? Well, he was quite open about using collaborators, most notably Auguste Maquet, who wrote drafts on instruction, created scenes and provided research.

Dumas, writes Hobson, “definitely signed his name to things he hadn’t written”. And sometimes his focus was obviously more attuned to production than punctuation.

“Dumas lets nothing get in the way of a good story, and spotting his historical inaccuracies, like his continuity errors, is one of the pleasures of reading him,” Hobson writes, in something of a back-handed compliment.

So, in some ways it might be useful to see Dumas as creative director of his own writing studio, or as a band leader. Yet everything produced under his name had the Dumas touch, flavour and je ne sais quo. It was his. And anything that did not, even written in the same tone, simply did not.

In the introduction to The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, you definitely get a sense that the singular (it must be Arthur Conan Doyle’s favourite word, I swear) deerstalker-attired London sleuth had overstayed his welcome, like a messy tenant or colleague with halitosis. Despite the enormous financial rewards penning Holmes stories had wrought him, Sir Arthur had had a gutful.

In the intro, Doyle compares his literary creation to a tenor who finally takes a bow after outliving his time. In 1891 the first Sherlock Holmes tale – A Scandal in Bohemia – appeared in The Strand magazine. By 1893, a mere two years later, Doyle had wanted to bring the unique investigations to an end in The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes. By then Doyle wished to concentrate on other writing and to explore extrasensory/supernatural matters. But it took until 1927 and The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes for this to occur, much to Doyle’s obvious glee.

“And so, reader,” he writes in the introduction, “farewell to Sherlock Holmes!”

It was not so much a goodbye, of course, as a “so long for now”. A century later and in various guises across a range of media, the private detective is still looking for clues, analysing evidence and, yes, solving crimes. Neither Doyle’s intentions, nor a tumble off the Reichenbach Falls, cocaine and tobacco habits, chronic insomnia – or our changing reading and viewing habits – could kill off the self-styled sleuth. The game is still afoot.

The truth is, however, the tales in the Casebook are somewhat lacklustre. Although Watson is as slow on the uptake as ever (how he earned his medical degree is anyone’s guess), and Holmes’ observations as perspicacious as they are unlikely, the writing and the plots that it serves are not much chop.

Forewords, introductions and author notes abound – so much so that one volume of Full Foreword may not suffice. There would need to be room for Mark Billingham’s thoughts about Raymond Chandler’s creation, Phillip Marlowe, who Billingham describes as a lonely “shop-soiled Galahad” who plays chess and reads poetry and who keeps his biggest bruises hidden. Among other juicy asides in Rebecca Fraser’s introduction to Charlotte Brontë’s Shirley and the Professor, we learn that Charlotte “spent considerable time submerged in an imaginary kingdom also inhabited by her brother Branwell, who later descended into alcoholism”. All the Brontës died young. As a young soldier, Leo Tolstoy once lost his house in a game of cards. It was subsequently dismantled and reassembled some 32km away. Well, you get the gist. There is no shortage of material for this meta volume. It will, of course, need its own foreword, and I have the perfect opening for it: “There are two kinds of readers in the world …”

Laughing stock

Have you heard the one about the CEO who proposed that funny business is actually good for business?

When newly minted Commonwealth Bank CEO Ralph Norris made his first public address, he claimed there was an accurate index a company could use to determine its health. Norris wasn’t referring to the bottom line, or even the triple bottom line. He was not talking about revenue, expenses or growth.

What Norris had in mind was a company’s humour quotient.

“You can always work out how an organisation is going if there is humour in the workplace,” Norris said. “If you don’t have that, there’s problems. Around the Commonwealth Bank, I want to see a lot more fun.”

To some present that day, Norris’ suggestion must have seemed eccentric. The corporate world, especially banking, is not synonymous with fun and laughter. Indeed, white-collar life is often depicted as a place of sombre, earnest work.

Nowhere is this more excruciatingly portrayed than in the BBC mockumentary The Office. This fake documentary follows the life and times of staff at Wernham Hogg, a drab fictional paper merchant in the drab, real-life English town of Slough. The Office focuses on the antics of manager David Brent, played by Ricky Gervais, who with his co-writer Stephen Merchant based the series on their middle-management experiences.

While Brent imagines himself a “chilled-out entertainer”, his colleagues and the audience see a crass, pathetic, bullying presence, whose antics and gags can be as agonising as they are offensive.

The Office works as a guide in how not to use humour in the workplace. Typical of Brent’s off-colour jokes is: “What’s the difference between a fox and a dog? About eight pints.”

His misfiring humour either offends, wastes time or sometimes even astonishes, as was the case during his short-lived career as a motivational speaker.

“Laughter is the best medicine,” explained a backwards-cap-attired Brent to his agog audience, and then attempted to get them to join him in a giggling session.

Pete Crofts, the founder of the world’s first Humourversity, based in suburban Melbourne, says inappropriately employing humour only to serves to underline that those wishing to employ it productively must first receive some guidance. It is, he says, a science as well as an art.

“Using humour and not knowing what you’re doing is like using a shotgun,” he explains. “Anyone can get hurt and get hit.”

Jack Levi, aka Elliot Goblet, performs most of his comedy work in the corporate arena.

“When you make people laugh you are taking control of their minds,” he says. “So, you’ve got to be very careful about what you say and the target you direct that towards.”

There are plenty of examples of real-life jokes gone wrong. Former US President Ronald Reagan employed full-time gag writers during his White House tenure, mostly to defray concerns about his age.

Sometimes, though, Reagan’s timing was way off.

“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever,” he joked while testing a microphone during a 1984 sound check. “We begin bombing in five minutes.”

Not surprisingly this appalled his fellow Americans.

Then there was Alexander Downer’s gag about the “things that batter” that went down like a Japanese submarine.

Crofts’ Humourversity is a combination of library and training centre for stand-up comics, corporates and those keen to use humour more effectively.

“I’m for any humour that will release any anxiety, any fear, any frustration, any aggression,” he says. “But it can be used negatively. It can be used to develop stereotypes.”

That’s probably why when corporates do try use humour, it’s through the agency of an interloper, an expert such as Crofts, Levi or stand-up comic Rachel Berger who can offer her perspective on an issue without leaving collateral damage.

As well as performing in one-woman shows, Berger plays extensively in the corporate world, either as an MC at events, or introducing tailored material (such as the QUIT campaign) for workplaces.

Corporate sponsors such as WorkSafe also sponsor her live shows.

Berger says humour can be an exceptionally potent tool in the workplace. At corporate gigs, she sees her job as filtering a company’s issues through the lens of comedy.

Her modus operandi is to gather research about workplaces – “not dirt”, she insists – and then incorporate this into a personalised routine.

“I don’t ascribe to taking the piss out of people, because in the workplace that’s a form of bullying,” she says. “If I’m at a corporate gig and someone says, ‘We’d really like it of you took the piss out of the boss’. I won’t do it. Because what for? I’m not there to take the piss out of the boss. I’m there to give everybody a good time.

“If there are tensions in an organisation, I can talk to people and find out where the tensions lie, and then work that into a routine without the main culprits even knowing I’m talking about them … I don’t have to name names. What it does is give a voice to the people involved.”

Another advocate for using humour in the workplace is Levi, whose schtick is to present a character in Elliot Goblet who is so colourless as to be hilarious.

“As long as it doesn’t overtake and negatively affect the workings of an organisation, you can use humour to positively emotionally impact but also effect change,” Levi says. “For example, if someone is a persistent long lunch taker, and it’s a bit awkward actually articulating that to the person, you could get it across with humour by one day having huge welcome back signs all over his office when he returns.”

Of course, most of us spend a good deal of our lives at toil.

“We spend 41 per cent of waking hours at work,” writes David Firth in his book How to Work Make Fun. “Since we are asleep for 35 per cent [of our lives], it seems crazy to consign life, and with it, any hope of fun, to the remaining 24 per cent.”

Levi suggests “soft” humour, perhaps in newsletters and training videos, is an acceptable way to bring some mirth to a workplace. Practical jokes, he says, are out.

Crofts, who offers a range of courses about using humour in the workplace, believes that not enough of us take humour seriously.

“The reality is that the jokes that have been told at negotiating tables have possibly prevented nuclear war more than any other means,” Crofts says. “The fact is that if you’re standing around shouting and somebody cracks a joke, it releases the tension and that allows you to come back to some normality and to be able to look at something from a different perspective.”

Not all comics are born funny. Crofts insists it’s a competency that can and should be taught.

“If a sense of humour is taught in the classroom the way a sense of politics is taught and a sense of religion is taught, the kids are going to come out of school with common sense,” explains Crofts, who tackled the subject in his book How to Use Humour in Business & Life. “It’s a skill, like any other skill – you don’t have to have a talent for it. It’s a series of processes, techniques, formulas and devices.”

Humour is a panacea that can be used as an escape from when things aren’t going so well, but also as a means of wealth generation.

Crofts believes you can use humour to solve problems in a more creative way, make more creative decisions in your life and find more creative opportunities to do business.

Finding a place for humour in the professional domain is certainly not a new phenomenon. US corporate giants Kodak and IBM have employed humour consultants in the past, because they believe in the workplace it can play a transformative role.

“The thing about laughter and humour is it can actually shift you from being reactive to proactive,” Berger says. “Think about it: the reason people laugh is because they get something they’re not expecting.”

Berger believes most workers are powerless but when they are laughing, they actually feel they have a degree of power.

“That moment when you laugh, there’s a little tear in the fabric of the world that lets you see, ‘Well there is some sunshine. Maybe not now, but out there, there is’. And so it just makes you feel a lot lighter,” she says.

“It’s like somebody coming in the middle of the night when you’re having a nightmare and turning the light on and saying, ‘It’s OK darling, it’s just a nightmare’. So, of all the places in the world, humour should be in the workplace.”

That’s one issue at least, on which she and the CBA’s Norris can concur.

This article was first published in the August 2006 edition of INTHEBLACK magazine.

Enquiring minds

What makes a good question? The answer depends very much on context and objectives.

At sustainability-related events over the past two decades or so, one thing could be predicted with a rather high degree of probability. If he were present, consultant Jeff Robinson would almost certainly pose the first enquiry of a presenter following a talk.

This was might you might call a welcome inevitability. It’s so often the case that even the most engaging and informative of speakers face a silent void when questions are called for following a talk. Yet with Jeff in the house, you knew there would be at least one intelligent, robust enquiry, and often this would prompt further comments and queries from those present. The conversation would continue, which means the original presentation would resonate more.

“Judge a man by his questions,” says Voltaire, “rather than by his answers.”

In Jeff’s case the questions were often issued in two parts. The first component took the form of a statement, with some context-setting exposition. The second part was usually more probing. Together, the double-pronged enquiry demonstrated an understanding of the issue at hand, and an appetite for further exploration. It was also an opening up: an invitation to converse.

The questions were prepared in advance, and carefully thought about, which obviously required some research and preparation.

Jeff tragically passed away earlier this year, but incredibly (although perhaps not surprisingly), one of his questions was posed posthumously some weeks later at a MECLA* event he had been helping to organise before his demise. Jeff, of course, had prepared the question well in advance.

Just what constitutes a good question was something to which Jeff dedicated no small amount of consideration, even discussing it at length with Aurecon colleague Jamali Kigotho.

I don’t think there is a definitive answer,” says Jamali when asked what makes a decent enquiry. “Jeff and I were similar in the fact we both love questions without a certain answer, but for slightly different reasons.

“My main reason for liking these sorts of questions is that it allows me to let my curiosity and creativity free to see what I can come up with. I think for Jeff those sorts of questions meant an opportunity to collaborate to try and find the answer.”

For a journalist – a professional inquisitor, in other words – a good question is one that elicits an interesting response. It’s about the answer more than the process.

Working as a sportswriter long ago, I learned on the job that one can prepare thoroughly for events such as press conference or interviews, but that sometimes it’s a bad, lazy or spontaneous question that draws the best response.

I can recall simply asking a coach for his thoughts after his team lost a hard-fought contest, only to be met with anger and contempt.

“I have many thoughts,” he grumbled. “Be specific.”

And there was the gift: I had been granted a glimpse behind the curtain of this carefully constructed professional façade.

One of the most important lessons a journalist will absorb is to learn to listen, and to do so without interrupting.

“You have two ears and one mouth,” according to the old maxim, “and they should be used in that order.”

“When people talk, listen completely,” advised writer Ernest Hemingway. “Most people never listen.”

I made some critical mistakes as a nascent professional, such as interrupting just when someone was about to say something interesting, not asking pertinent follow-up questions, or perhaps not recognising when a conversation had either veered off track or ventured down a path worth exploring. These mistakes nearly all relate to not listening.

Sometimes the best way of drawing an answer is not to pose a question, but to pause. To know when to remain silent, and create space for a response to emerge.

It’s something practised by UK journalist Kirsty Young, perhaps best known for the often intensely personal Desert Island Discs BBC radio program, which delves deeply into its subjects’ lives.

“Sometimes there is that moment,” she says of remaining silent during an interview. “I hope it’s not a glib trick, but I use it when I think there’s more. If I must sit, maybe you’ll go there. Sometimes people don’t; they just look right back at you.”

There is always the chance that an enquiry will elicit an unsatisfactory response, a bumbling answer, or silence. That’s the danger. Yet there exists, too, the tantalising possibility that something else results: a startling revelation, a hitherto unimagined pathway, or the simple pleasure of a considered conversation.

It all starts with a question.

*MECLA is the Materials and Embodied Carbon Leaders Alliance